The Law of "Dharma" or Purpose In Life -

There is so much talk about purpose and destiny and living your dreams. I am no different as I too am working toward my purpose and living my dream. However, not everyone knows what their purpose is and some don't even know how to find it.

Deepak Chopra helps us understand the Law of Dharma or our Purpose in Life.

Here is what Deepak has to say:

• Everyone has a purpose in life...a unique gift or special talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and evaluation of our own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals.
• The Law of Dharma says that we have taken manifestation in physical form to fulfill a purpose.
• There is something that you can do better than anyone else in the whole world.
• If you could start children right from the beginning with this thought, you'd see the effect it has on their lives. 
• What I really want to focus on is asking yourself how you  can serve humanity, and asking yourself what your unique talents are.
• There are three components to the Law of Dharma. The first component says, that each of us is here to discover our true Self, to find out on our own that our true Self is spiritual, that essentially we are spiritual beings that have taken manifestation in physical form.
• the second component of the Law of Dharma is to express our unique talents...This means that there's one thing you can do, and one way of doing it, that is better than anyone else on this entire planet.
• The third component of the Law of Dharma- to serve your fellow human beings and to ask yourself the questions, "How can i help? How can I help all those that I come into contact with?"
• The question, "What's in it for me?" is the internal dialogue of the ego. Asking "How can I help?" is the internal dialogue of the spirit.
• If you want to make the maximum use of the Law of Dharma, then you have to make several commitments.
• The first commitment is: I am going to seek my higher self, which is beyond my ego, through spiritual practice.
• The second commitment is: I am going to discover my unique talents, and finding my unique talents, I am going to enjoy myself, because the process of enjoyment occurs when I go into timeless awareness. That's when I am in a state of bliss.
• The third commitment is: I am going to ask myself how I am best suited to serve humanity. I am going to answer that question and then put it into practice.

Applying the Law of "Dharma' or Purpose in Life

• Today I will lovingly nurture the god or goddess in embryo that lies deep within my soul.
• I will make a list of my unique talents
• I will ask myself daily, "how can I serve?" and "how can I help?"

Find a way to serve other, then you've found your passion. 

The Law of Detachment - The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

Deepak Chopra speaks to us about the Law of Detachment

• In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty..in the wisdom of uncertainty lies the freedom from our past, from the known, which is the prison of past conditioning.
• And in our willingness to step into the unknown, the field of all possibilities, we surrender ourselves to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the universe.
• ...in order to acquire anything in the physical universe, you have to relinquish your attachment to it. This doesn't mean you give up the intention to create your desire. You don't give up the intention, and you don't give up the desire. You give up your attachment to the result. - This is good.
• Attachment..is based on fear and insecurity-and the need for security is based on not knowing the true Self.
• with detachment there is freedom to create.
• The search for security is an illusion...the solution to this whole dilemma lies in the wisdom of insecurity, or the wisdom of uncertainty. This means that the search for security and certainty is actually an attachment to the known. And what's the known? The known is our past...There's no evolution in that...And where there is no evolution, there is stagnation, entropy, disorder, and decay.
• Uncertainty, on the other hand, is the fertile ground of pure creativity and freedom.
• The Law of Detachment does not interfere with the Law of Intention and Desire-with goal-setting. You still have the intention of going in a certain direction, you still have a goal. However, between point A and point B there are infinite possibilities. 

Applying the Law of Detachment

Today I will commit myself to detachment
Today I will factor in uncertainty as an essential ingredient of my experience
I will step into the field of all possibilities and anticipate the excitement that can occur when I remain open to any infinity of choices.

Let's put this in simple form: Don't be in control, while being in control.

Remember to Smile Every Day, Show Up Every Day, and Succeed Everyday
Find Peace Within
Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa

The Law of Intention and Desire-

Inherent in every intention and desire is the mechanics for its fulfillment...intention and desire in the field of pure potentiality have infinite organizing power. And when we introduce an intention in fertile ground of pure potentiality, we put this infinite organizing power to work for us.

What is this all about? It's all about being intentional. Think about this...everything we do today is for our future, which is tomorrow. You may not think that tomorrow is the future, but 10 years ago or even 1 year ago you were intentionally planning for TODAY - the FUTURE. Sometimes the future presents itself in that very moment. You'll say, "in the future, I'll know not to do such and such." then in the next moment you're faced with that very situation that you said you would do differently "in the future." you think about what JUST happened and you do something different. Guess what, the Future just happened.

Here is some thoughts that Deepak Chopra gave on the Law of Intention and Desire.

• Intention combined with detachment leads to life-centered, present-moment awareness.
• Your intent is for the future, but your attention is in the present. As long as your attention is in the present, then your intent for the future will manifest, because the future is created in the present. You must accept the present as is. Accept the present and intend the future. The future is something you can always create through detached intention, but you should never struggle against the present... WOW powerful.. NEVER STRUGGLE AGAINST THE PRESENT. 
• Both past and future are born in the imagination; only the present, which is awareness, is real and eternal

When you follow these five steps for fulfilling your desires, intention generates its own power.

1. slip into the gap
2. established in that state of being, release your intentions and desires
3. remain in the state of self-referral - I like this
4. relinquish your attachment to the outcome - I like this too
5. let the universe handle the details - I like this too. 

Here's how you can apply The Law of Intention and Desire

• I will make a list of my desires
• I will release this list of my desires and surrender it to the womb of creation, trusting it will manifest
• I will remind myself to practice present-moment awareness in all my actions.

Remember to live in the moment, tomorrow is not promised and yesterday is gone.

Smile Every Day, Show Up Everyday, Succeed Every Day

Find Peace Within,

Be blessed,

Ms. Lisa 

The Law of Least Effort - The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

Move with grace and ease. Be light on your feet, take it easy, be seen and not heard. Sounds like something you've heard before. I believe this is what Deepok Chopra is saying to us when he says,

"The Law of Least Effort"

• Nature's intelligence functions with effortless ease...with carefreeness, harmony, and love. And when we harness the forces of harmony, joy, and love, we create success and good fortune with effortless ease.
• Do less and accomplish more. Ultimately you come to the state where you do nothing and accomplish everything.
• Nature's intelligence functions effortlessly, frictionlessly, spontaneously. It is non-linear; it is intuitive, holistic and nourishing.
• when your actions are motivated by love, there is no waste of energy.
• three components to the Law of Least Effort...The first component is acceptance...You can wish for things in the future to be different, but in this moment you have to accept things as they are.
• the second component...responsibility.
• Having accepted this circumstance, this event, this problem, responsibility then means the ability to have a creative response to the situation as it is now.
• The third component...defenselessness
• If you just relinquish the need to defend your point of view, you will in that that relinquishment, gain access to enormous amounts of energy that have been previously wasted.
• You do not need to justify; simply declare your intent to yourself, and you will experience fulfillment, delight, joy freedom, and autonomy in every moment in your life

Now let's apply the Law of Least Effort

1. I will practice acceptance
2. Having accepted things as they are, I will take Responsibility for my situation and for all those events I see as problems.
3. Every problem is an opportunity in disguise
4. Today my awareness will remain established in Defenslessness.

OWN IT! THEN LET IT GO AND RELAX

Remember to Smile Every Day, Show Up Every Day, Succeed Every Day
Find Peace Within
Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa

The Law of "Karma" or Cause and Effect

We've all heard the term "Karma is a ....." well I want dare say the last word, but you get what I'm saying. In the world I live in, this how we describe "Karma" - You reap what you sow.... if there isn't anything in this world that's not- this is true.

Deepak Chopra speaks very loud about "Karma":

• Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind...what we sow is what we reap. And when we choose actions that bring happiness and success to others, the fruit of our karma is happiness and success.
• What you sow is what you reap.
• Will this choice that I'm making now bring happiness to me and to those around me? If the answer is yes, then go ahead with that choice. If the answer is no, if that choice brings distress either to you or to those around you, then don't make that choice. It's as simple as that.
• If your body sends a message of comfort, that's the right choice. If your body sends a message of discomfort, then it's not the appropriate choice. 

As I wrote in one of my previous blogs, it's all about being accountable for your actions/choices. If you want a good outcome, then make a good choice. Every good choice may not be the right choice, you just have to be committed to your choices. I see Karma happening a lot in the work place, when one co-worker snitches on another co-worker, the snitcher is usually the one who gets that harder hit.

This happened to me at work... She told on me, questioned my ability to lead, and she later was demoted. Don't let your urge to get revenge cause revenge to come back on you.

Applying the Law of "Karma" or Cause and Effect.

So here's the deal

• witness the choices....
• ask myself two questions...
• ask my heart for guidance..

Remember to Smile Every  Day, Show Up Every Day, and Succeed Every Day

Find Peace Within

Be Blessed

Ms. Lisa

Blessing Our Circumstances

Bless a thing and it will bless you, Curse it and it will curs you.. If you bless a situation, it has o power to hurt you, and even if it is troublesome for a time, it will gradually ade out, if you sincerely bless it.  - Emmet Fox

After accepting our present circumstances, no matter what they are, we must learn to bless them. Right, Bless misery?

Through your gritted teeth if necessary. Usually we don't know why something has occurred and we won't until there's enough distance to take a backward glance. However, blessing whatever vexes us is the spiritual surrender that can change even troublesome situations for the better. Blessing the circumstances in our lives also teaches us to trust. Through my years of situations, I've learned the lessons in blessings. I was blessed to have a child at 16 ( I never had another one ). I was blessed when I got fired from Captain D's, I knew I didn't have a career in the fast food business. I was blessed when my second marriage failed, because I never would have been blessed with my Love, Steven.

There are powerful lessons in blessings. Start today. Make a spiritual inventory of all your blessings. See if you can't get to one hundred. So much good happens to us but in the rush of daily life we fail even to notice or acknowledge it. Writing it down focuses our attention on the abundance already within our grasp and makes it real.

Parts of this blog was taken from the book "Simple Aundance A Daybook of Comfort and Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach". Another one of today's most influential spiritual leaders.

Count your blessings, name them one by one.

Remember to Smile Every day, Show up Every day, and Succeed Every day
Find Peace Within
Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa

The Law of Giving - The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

I asked this question to a friend one time, "is the reason you don't give is because you don't need?" I didn't get a response... I wonder why. Giving is something everyone isn't comfortable in doing. It could be because of rejection, selfishness, or feeling like you have nothing to give. But giving is something speaks of he character of us as humans.

Here is what Deepak Chopra says about The Law of Giving:

The Universe operates through dynamic exchange...giving and receiving are different aspects of the flow of energy in the universe. And in our willingness to give that which we seek, we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives.

If you want to learn to love, learn to give love...the easiest way to give wha you want is to help others get what they want.

thought has the power to transform.

the most powerful forms of giving are non-material

affection

you are already inherently affluent...the source of all wealth is the field of pure potentiality...

Applying the Law of Giving
...bring them a gift
...gratefully receive all the gifts...

It's as easy as lending a hand.

So, I'll pose this question, is the reason you don't give is because you don't need?

Remember to Smile Every day, Show Up Every day, and Succeed Every day
Find Peace Within
Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa

Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A practical guide to the fulfillment of your dreams

As I prepared to release my book "Smile, Show Up, Succeed - EVERYDAY; I have been studying myself to some of the worlds most thought provoking spiritual leaders. This week I am focusing on Deepak Chopra. He is a regular on the Oprah Winfrey Network and has written numerous books on finding peace within. In his practical guide to fulfillment of your dreams - Deepak shares with the real meaning of success. Deepak offers a life-altering perspective on the attainment of success: Once we understand our true nature & learn to live in harmony with natural law, a sense of well-being, good health, fulfilling relationships, energy & enthusiasm for life & material abundance will spring forth easily & effortlessly.


Law #1: The Law of Pure Potentiality

• The source of all creation is pure consciousness...pure potentiality seeking expression from the un-manifest to the manifest. And when we realize that our true Self is one of pure potentiality, we align with the power that manifests everything in the universe.
• One way to access the field is through the daily practice of silence, meditation, and non-judgment. Spending time in nature.
• Practicing silence means making a commitment to take a certain amount of time to simply Be.

Applying the Law of Pure Potentiality - Be Silent...mediation...nature...non-judment

In my book, I write about being silent and finding time to meditate and spend time with nature. I really enjoy being out doors. I find my most inspiring writing comes when I'm outside meditation. Actually I wrote most of my book on my back porch. Nature really has a way of calming your spirit down. You can hear God's voice out there too... 

...success also includes good health, energy and enthusiasm for life, fulfilling relationships, creative freedom, emotional and psychological stability, a sense of well-being, and peace of mind.

Don't limit your self to working so hard to achieve what the world considers success. You are success full not only with doing but with being.

Remember to Smile Everyday, Show Up Everyday, and Succeed Everyday
Find Peace Within
Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa

Send Love - Step #15 How to Forgive Someone who hurt you Forgood

This has got to be my favorite step ; Send Love. Now in order for you to send Love, you must first have Love to send. Love comes first by finding peace within yourself, then learning how to give it to others. Here is what Dr. Wayne Dyer has to say about Sending Love

I spent years studying the teachings of Patanjali, and he reminded us several thousand years ago that when we are steadfast-which means that we never slip in our abstention of thoughts of harm directed toward others-then all living creatures cease to feel enmity in our presence.

Now I know that we are all human: you, me, all of you. We do occasionally slip and retreat from our highest self into judgment, criticism, and condemnation, but this is not a rational for choosing to practice that kind of interaction. I can only tell you that when I finally got it, and I sent only love to another of God's children whom I had been judging and criticizing, I got the immediate result of inner contentment.

I urge you to send love in place of those judgments and criticisms to others when you feel they impeded your joy and happiness, and hold them in that place of love. Notice that if you stay steadfast, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

A Meditation to End of Love

Picture yourself at the termination of a quarrel or major dispute. Rather than reacting with old patterns of residual anger, revenge, and hurt, visualize offering kindness, love, and forgiveness.

Do this right now by sending out these "true virtue" thoughts to any resentments you're currently carrying. Make this your standard response to any future altercations: I end on love, no matter what!

With this message from Dr. Dyer, I believe that Love is the answer to all.

Remember to Smile Everyday, Show up Everyday, and Succeed Everyday
Find Peace Within
Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa 

Refrain from Judgement - Step #14 To Forgiving Someone who has Hurt You

Passing judgement is something we all are guilty of doing. If we said we're not, we are not telling the truth. It's easy to pass judgement on someone. Is it the right thing to do, I would say no, it's not as we have no idea what that person is going through or has gone through. A lot of us do not share our story for the fear of judgement. But what we must remember, when you're delivered people can no longer hold you hostage to your story.

Dr. Wayne Dyer shares some his thoughts on judging others. Here is what he has to say;

When you stop judging and simply become an observer, you will no inner peace. With that sense of inner peace, you'll find yourself happier and free of the negative energy of resentment. A bonus is that you'll find that others are much more attracted to you. A peaceful person attracts peaceful energy.

If I'm to be a being of love living from my highest self, that means that love is all I have inside of me and all that I have to give away. If someone I love chooses to be something other than what my ego would prefer, I must send them the ingredients of my highest self, which is God, and God is love.

My criticism and condemnation of the thoughts, feelings, and behavior of others- regardless of how right and moral my human self convinces me it is-is a step away from God-realization. And it is God-consciousness that allows for my wishes to e fulfilled, as long as they are aligned with my Source of being. I can come up with a long list of reasons why I should be judgmental and condemnatory toward another of God's children and why, damn it, I am right. Yet If I want to perform my own world-and I so want to do so-then I must substitute love for these judgments.

Judging is something that we all need to work on. I'll remember talking with someone about the size of this lady whom I did not know and did not know why she was so over weight. After taking the time to speak with the young lady and finding out more about her and her story. She shared with me that she had a thyroid condition that really had an affect on her weight and her ability to lose weight. I quickly apologized and offered to help her by providing a meal plan and exercise program that she could still to, even if she didn't lose weight, she was on her way to a healthier body.

Remember, before you begin to judge, make sure you have all the facts.

Remember to Smile Everyday, Show Up Everyday, and Succeed Everyday
Find Peace Within
Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa

Embrace Your Dark Times - Step #13 How to Forgive Someone who Hurt You Forever

Embracing the dark side of us requires us to look at ourselves, and the life that we've created for ourselves. It requires us to step back and look at every bad thing that has happened to us. I call it looking at the mud. I remember as a child we played house and at mud cakes, do kids still eat mud cakes these days? Probably not, they're too busy playing with their own electronic devices because we as parents are too busy playing with our own. However, mud isn't clean nor is it made to be eaten, but mud can be used to pretend things are okay. And when we're in pain we often fake it until we make it. Here is what Dr. Wayne Dyer has to say about embracing our dark times.

In a universe that's an intelligent system with a divine creative force supporting it, there simply can be no accidents. As touch as it is to acknowledge, you had to go through what you went through in order to get to where you are today, and the evidence is that you did. Every spiritual advance that you will make in your life will very likely be preceded by some kind of fall or seeming disaster. Those dark times, accidents, tough episodes, break ups, periods of impoverishment, illnesses, abuses, and broken dreams were all in order. They happened, so you can assume they had to and you can't unhappen them.

Embrace them from that perspective, and then understand them, accept them, honor them, and finally transform them.

This reminds me of a time when I left my second husband and started dating a guy who was what some of us would call a THUG.... a glock carrying, Grand Prix driving, bull dog walking man. Yelp, I went down that road too. He was abusive, he would take his gun out and sit it on the table to threaten me and my son. He put fear in our hearts which made me afraid to leave. When I did get the courage to leave him, he broke up all the glass furniture we had, kicked my plants over and told me he would call action 9 and put it all over the television. Fast forward, I did leave him, scared to death but I did. The next day I came back, there was the bull dog sitting in the middle of the floor, another scare tactic... it didn't work. I went to get a restraining order on him and the judge told me that I didn't look like the type that would be there getting a restraining order. I felt embarrassed, in which I was. He told me that he didn't want to ever see me in there again.... and guess what, HE HASN'T. THANK GOD.

As bad as that situation was, it has helped me to grow as a woman, recognize bad behavior when I see it and run if I have to.

It's okay to play in the mud sometimes as some mud is great for your complexion especially the green mud. :)

Remember to Smile Everyday, Show Up Everyday, and Succeed Everyday
Find Peace Within
Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa

Don't Live In the Past Step #12 To Forgiving Someone Who has Hurt You

Being present is so important in your life. I wrote this in my book - "Don't be so ready for tomorrow because you'll miss what you have today." So, I am not surprised Dr. Wayne Dyer has this in his list of ways to forgive someone who has hurt you.

Here is what Dr. Wayne has to say:
When we find it difficult to forgive, often it is because we are not living in the present, and instead, we assign more importance to the past. We assign a good portion of our energy and attention lamenting the good old days that are gone forever as the reason why we can't be happy and fulfilled today. "Everything has changed." "No one respects anyone else like they used to..." This is assigning responsibility to the past for why you can't be happy today.

It's doubtful that other creatures waste the present moment in thoughts of past and future. A beaver only does beaver, and he does it right in the moment. He doesn't spend his days ruminating over the fact that his beaver siblings received more attention, or his father beaver ran off with a younger beaver when he was growing up. He's always in the now. We can learn much from God's creatures about enjoying the present moment rather than using it up consumed with anger over the past or worry about the future. Practice living in the moment by appreciating the beauty around you now.

Living as a human is totally different from living as a creature of the wild or our four footed animal friends, however we are the most intelligent creatures He's created. We worry about things and we compare our current lives to what we had before.

I'll share this story with you. Growing up as a child I remember feeling like my parents gave me away to my grandmother. For years I felt like the black sheep of the family, I actually would tell people I was the black sheep of the family. When we would have family gatherings and my parents friends would come over, they would ask my parents who was I, they would always say, "oh she's the one that lives with Mazaree (my dad's mom). They never said my name... so when people saw me, they would say, "oh you're the one that lives with Mazaree." That went on for years. Even at my grandmother's funeral, people were saying that. It wasn't until my grandmother died that I knew why I was given to my grandmother and after finding out why my parents did what they did, I no loner felt like the black sheep of the family. I then knew God had a reason for that happening and if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't be the woman I am today. Even without my father being in the home perse', I do not use that as an excuse for my 2 failed marriages or my pregnancy at 16. I don't look back at the past anymore. I use it to help encourage others that life can always be better than what you perceived it to be in your past.

Today is all I have, so I'll be sure to make the best of it. I suggest you do the same.

Remember, to Smile Everyday, Show Up Everyday, and Succeed Everyday
Find Peace Within
Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa

Stop Looking for Occasions to Be Offended Step #11 To Forgiving Someone who Hurt You

Can you imagine being someone who looks for opportunities to be offended? I sure can't. I am always looking for opportunities to spread love, joy ad happiness. However, there are some people in the world who does look for opportunities to be offended and or look for a chance to get their feelings hurt in order to make a situation more than what it really is.

Here is what Dr. Wayne Dyer has to say about looking for occasions to be offended.

When you live at or below ordinary levels of awareness, you spend a great deal of time and energy finding opportunities to be offended. A news report, a rude stranger, someone cursing, a sneeze, a black cloud - just about anything will do if you're looking for an occasion to be offended. Become a person who refuses to be offended by any one, any thing, or any set of circumstances.

If you have enough faith in your own beliefs, you'll find that it's impossible to be offended by the beliefs and conduct of others.

Not being offended is a way of saying, "I have control over how I'm going to feel, and I choose to feel peaceful regardless of what I observe going on." When you feel offended, you're practicing judgment. You judge someone else to be stupid, insensitive, rude, arrogant, inconsiderate, or foolish, and then you find yourself upset and offended by their conduct. What you may not realize is that when you judge another person, you do not define them. You define yourself as someone who needs to judge others.

This passage reminded me of something that recently happened to me. As you many of you know, I am in the process of launching my book, Smile, Show Up, Succeed EVERYDAY. I am excited about the book and what I know it will do for those who take time to invest in my gift. However, because I'm excited about the book does not mean that everyone I share it with is excited about my book. For example, one of my sister's is a school teacher, so I just figured as a teacher she would enjoy reading my book. So, I sent the book to her around Christmas, she said she didn't get it so I sent it again and copied myself to make sure she got the book. Yes, she got the book. It is now January 12, 2016 and I haven't heard anything from her either way. Now, was I offended, ABSOLUTELY NOT! Why, because I don't need her input to validate my gift as a writer or do I need her to tell me it's good or bad. I just wanted to share it with her. Even though she's not responded, my book is still on the way for me to proof, and I will still publish  my book for the world to read. I am very confident in myself and my vision.

My expectation is low and my acceptance is high.... this keeps me from being disappointed.

Remember to Smile Everyday, Show Up Everyday, and Succeed Everyday
Find Peace Within
Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa

Practice Giving Step #10 Step to Forgiving Someone Who has Hurt You

I believe giving is the best way to forgive and to forget about everything that you're going through. It also makes you feel good about yourself and makes you very grateful and thankful for all you have an everything you had to go through to get there.

Here is what Dr. Wayne Dyer has to say about giving: In the midst of arguments or disagreements, practice giving rather than taking before you exit. Giving involves leaving the ego behind. While it wants to win and show its superiority by being contrary and disrespectful, your Tao nature wants to be at peace and live in harmony. You can reduce your quarreling time to almost zero if you practice this procedure;

Wherever you are, whenever you feel strong emotions stirring in you and you notice yourself feeling the need to "be right," silently recite the following word from the Prayer of Saint Francis: Where there is injury, let me bring pardon."

Be a giver of forgiveness as a he teaches: Bring love to hate, light to darkness pardon to injury. Read these words daily, for they'll help you overcome your ego's demands and know the fullness of life. 

Yes, it's hard to give to someone who has hurt you and to even harder to give to them at the moment they hurt or is hurting you. I believe this one will take some thought as its hard to give to someone at the moment who is emotionally, physically, or verbally abusing you.

I'll share this story with you, In my career as a manager, I had, whom I thought was the worse boss in the world. She was always on me, saying things that was demeaning to me. She made me feel incompetent, and insignificant in my role as a leader. This went on for quit some time. One day she came to my office and told me that I didn't deserve to be sitting in that seat and I was only given the job because there was know one else to do the job. I reached out and took her hand and looked her in the face and said "I'm sorry you feel that way, however I don't receive what you're sayin, and if there is every anything I can do to help you feel better about yourself, please let me know." That put an end to her verbal abuse towards me.

Sometimes it just takes courage to give to those who are hurting you.

Remember to Smile Everyday, Show Up Everyday, and Succeed Everyday
Find Peace Within
Be Blessed,
Find Peace Within,
Ms. Lisa

Be Kind Instead of Right - Step #9 of Forgiving Someone Who has Hurt You

Being kind is something I try to do everyday. It's just easier to be kind even when someone has hurt me or has gotten under my skin. Yes, that does happen to me from time to time, but I know how I like to feel and be, so being kind always keeps me where I like to be and that is CENTERED.

Dr. Wayne Dyer says that: There is a Chinese proverb, If you're going to pursue revenge, you'd better dig two graves, which is saying to me: your resentments will destroy you.

The world is just the way it is. The people who are behaving "badly" in the world are doing what they're suppose to be doing. You can process it in any way that you choose. If you're filled with anger about all of those "problems," you are one more person who contributes to the pollution of anger. Instead, remember that you have no need to make others wrong or to retaliate when you've been wronged.

Imagined if someone says something to you that you find offensive, and rather than opting for resentment, you learn to depersonalize what you've just heard and respond with kindness. You are willing to freely send the higher, faster energies of love, peace, joy, forgiveness, and kindness as your response to whatever comes your way. You do this for yourself. You would rather be kind than right.

The first sentence says that bad people are doing what they are suppose to be doing.... You may not believe that, but I do, why? Because, if everyone was good in the world, you'll never know what you're still struggling with. It takes obstacles and challenges to help us become better people. If your response to something takes you back to something in your character that you thought or believed to be gone comes back up, then you NOW know that this is an area in your character that you still need to deal with.

Sometimes it's hard being nice to someone when they aren't nice to you. I believe this is hard to practice within a family. I remember when I was let go at my old job, I was hurt and disappointed about the way it all went down, but I got over it. Then, about 2 years later, one of the people that was apart of the conspiracy reached out to me and inquired about a job as she too was let go. Now, I could have stayed mad, and said, nope, not going to help you because you were apart of plot that got me fired. but instead, I responded with kindness, and took her resume' and forwarded to the HR manager in my department at my current job. What was the lesson here, it didn't matter what she did to me nor if I had the right to say no, what mattered was that I was willing to let go of what she did to me, and lend a helping hand, use my level of influence at my job and gave her an opportunity to get employment. Today, we're back being friends.

Remember to Smile Everyday, Show Up Everyday, and Succeed Everyday
Find Peace Within
Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa

Let Go of Resentment Step #8 to Forgiving Someone Who has Hurt You

I believe this has got to be one of the hardest things to do when it comes to forgiving someone who has hurt you. Why, because you feel validated in your hurt and in your resentment. But what I've learned over the years, resentment only makes you bitter, and meaner. It takes years away from you and it lessens your chance of true happiness with either your partner or your friends and family.

This is what Dr. Wayne has to say about resentment in a relationship -  What causes annoyance and anger after a dispute? The generic response would be a laundry list detailing why the other person was wrong and how illogically and unreasonably they behaved, concluding with something like, "I have a right to be upset when whom ever speaks to me that way!"

But if you're interested in living a Tao-filled life, it's imperative that you reverse this kind of thinking. Resentments don't come from the conduct of the other party in an altercation-no, they survive and thrive because you're unwilling to end that altercation with an offering of kindness, love, and authentic forgiveness.  as Lao-Tzu says: Someone must risk returning injury with kindness, or hostility will never turn to goodwill. - Lao-Tzu

So when all of the yelling, screaming, and threatening words have been expressed, the time for calm has arrived. Remember that no storm lasts forever and that hidden within are always seeds of tranquility. There is a time for hostility and a time for peace.

This is something I NEVER LIKE DOING... holding grudges and resentment. This is what I said to myself when I married Steven, "I will serve him as unto the Lord. I will love the God in him more than I will love him." This has helped me to stay true to my marriage and to my commitment to God and our family. I don't like holding grudges, I do get upset, sure, we all do, but to be resentful towards someone is not something I choose to do. In the end, it doesn't help anyone, even if you're not together or have a relationship anymore. The best thing to do is "Let It Go and Love."

Remember to Smile Everyday, Show Up Everyday, and Succeed Everyday
Find Peace Within
Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa

Taking Responsibility for Your Part: Step #7 of Forgiving Someone Who has hurt you

I post an affirmation about this very subject on my Face Book page and I post a quote on my Face Book page about the difference between Pride and Humility. "pride makes excuses, humility makes adjustment."

Dr. Wayne Dyer says we should take responsibility for our part in the hurt - Removing blame means never assigning responsibility to anyone else for what you're experiencing. It means that you're willing to say, "I may not understand why I feel this way, why I have this illness, why I've been victimized, or why I had this accident, but I'm willing to say without any guilt or resentment that I own it. I live with, and I am responsible for, having it in my life.

If you take responsibility for having the experience, then at least you have a chance to also take responsibility for removing it or learning from it. If you're in some small (perhaps unknown) way responsible for that migraine headache or that depressed feeling, then you can go to work to remove it or discover what its messages is for you. If on the other hand, someone or something else is responsible in your mind, then of course you'll have to wait until they change for you to get better. And that is unlikely to occur. So you go home with nothing and are left with nothing when peace is really on the other side of the coin.

I like Dr. Dyer's response to taking responsibility for your part. We've all been through some things in our lives where we really would like to blame the other person for what happened to us. I've been there, God knows how many times. Let's go back to when I was 16. I was trying to learn how to dance with my now "baby's daddy"... he wasn't my baby's daddy at the time... one thing lead to the other and we ended up having sex and I got pregnant. Now, my story was, "HE GOT ME PREGNANT!" NO, sweetie, YOU GOT PREGNANT!!!... LOL. I put all the blame on him but seriously, I played a part in getting pregnant just as much as he played a part in planting the seed. How many of us have done that.. right??? I had a choice to say yes or no... seriously I should not have been in my brother's room anyway... trying to learn how to dance and I'm a CHURCH GURL...

Now, 35 years later, I understand the lesson in it...NEVER TRY TO LEARN HOW TO DANCE WITH SOMEONE WHOSE NOT YOUR HUSBAND...LOL

We all have a choice in the matter... make sure you are able to take responsibility for your choices.

Remember to Smile Everyday, Show Up Everyday, and Succeed Everyday
Find Peace Within
Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa

Learn to Let Go and Be Like Water - Step #6 How to Forgive Someone Who Hurt You

Step #6 - Ummm. Be Like water??? Really Wayne. Well let's see what Mr. Wayne Dyer has to say about being like water.

Rather than attempting to dominate with your forcefulness, be like water: flow everywhere there's an opening. Soften your hard edges by being more tolerant of contrary opinions. Interfere less, and substitute listening for directing and telling. When someone offers you their viewpoint, try responding with: "I've never considered that before-thank you. I'll give it some thought."

When you give up interfering, and opt instead to stream like water-gently, softly, and unobtrusively-you become forgiveness itself. 

Picture yourself as having the same qualities as water. allow your soft, weak, yielding, fluid self to enter places where you previously were excluded because of your inclination to be solid and hard. Flow softly into the lives of those with whom you feel conflicted: Picture yourself entering their private inner selves, seeing perhaps for the first time what they're experiencing. Keep this image of yourself as gently coursing water, and watch how your relationships change.

I can literally hear Dr. Wayne speaking these words on Oprah. I'm a go with the flow girl. I don't push the envelope, I consider the other person's feelings and of course what is the outcome I'm looking for. I will take the low road and apologize first, keep my thoughts to myself until the time is right to say something. I haven't always been this way, but now that I've found my center, developed peace within, and developed more empathy, I can do as Dr. Wayne has said, Be like water and Let Go.

Find your wave and float.

Remember to Smile Everyday, Show Up Everyday, and Succeed Everyday
Find Peace Within
Be Blessed,
Ms. Lisa

Step #5 "Avoid Telling People What to Do" - How to Forgive Those who has Hurt You

As we continue discovering ways to forgive those who have hurt us, I think this next one is also a very important one. "Avoid Telling People what to Do" You can always make suggestions, or give your opinion, but people REALLY don't have to do what you say.. that is unless you are the one in charge, but even then there is a choice you have to make. to do or not to do.

Here is what Wayne Dyer has to say about Avoiding telling people what to do -
Avoid thoughts and activities that involve telling people who are perfectly capable of making their own choices what to do. In your family, remember that you do not own anyone. The poet Kahlil Gibran reminds you: Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. This is always true. In fact, disregard any inclination to dominate in all of your relationships. Listen rather than expound. Pay attention to yourself when you're having judmental opinions and see where self-attention takes you. When you replace an ownership mentality with one of allowing, you'll begin to see the true unfolding of the Tao in yourself and other people. From that moment on, you'll be free of frustration with those who don't behave according to your ego-dominated expectations.

Now, I have my own opinion about children as I believe it is our responsibility as parent to train up our children in the way they should go. It is our responsibility to make sure they have the right tools needed to be successful (and what do I mean by successful) I mean productive citizens who are making a difference in their lives and in the lives of others.... not necessarily, becoming a millionaire. There are thousands of millionaires who are NOT making a difference in the lives of others.

I also believe it is our responsibility as wives to pray for our husband's but not necessarily TELL THEM WHAT TO DO. We know husband/men can handle US telling them what to do. After all, we did not marry a boy, we married a man and he being a grown man.We are not their mother's we're their wives. So, our directives are done differently. I always tell myself when I'm in a situation where I want to TELL my husband what to do, "he's grown" therefore he knows what to do, he may choose to do something that I totally agree is the wrong thing to do, but I dear not tell him that it's the wrong thing to do, that is unless the Holy Spirit lead me to tell him and then it's done at the right time. Timing is everything when dealing with husbands.

To keep yourself free from anxiety and stress.... try practicing allowing people to make their own decisions and deal with their own consequences. That is one thing life is filled with DECISIONS AND CONSEQUENCES..... IT'S YOUR CHOICE...

If you're not telling them what to do, there is no reason to forgive and or ask for forgiveness when it doesn't work out the way you thought it would.

Remember to Smile Everyday, Show Up Everyday, and Succeed Everyday
Find Peace Within
Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa