After the voices become silent.
After the heart stops beating rapidly.
After the knees stop shaking uncontrollably
After the hands stop trembling
After the head has cleared
Then is the time to face the pit of self-pity you're in.
What is a pit? A pit is a hollow or indentation in the surface of something. What is self-pity? Self pity is self-absorbed unhappiness over one's own troubles.
You may be wondering where I'm going with this... here's where I'm going with this.
Here's the story -
At my parents house in South Carolina my dad has a BBQ pit in the back yard. That BBQ pit has been there for years. He enjoys cooking out, so he had our neighbor build him a pit in the ground. There are a lot of things my dad enjoys cooking in that pit but the one thing I've noticed is he loves to cook BBQ ribs in that pit. My dad would go through this ritual of patting the meat down with his famous seasonings. He would let it marinate in that seasoning over night. Then he would cover it up real tight with some aluminum foil. The foil kept the meat sealed tight so the meat wouldn't fall apart while cooking. Then he'll place it in the pit and let it cook pretty much all day. Through out its cooking process, my dad would come back to check and see if it was done. Most of the time it took about 2 to 3 hours to fully cook. Once it was done, he ready to serve his famous BBQ ribs to the family. And boy did we enjoy eating that BBQ.
When we're walking in self-pity we are going through the same process as the ribs in the BBQ pit. We'll pat self-pity down with the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and our situations. We marinate our self-pity by exaggerating the story with extra seasonings. You know, making it out to be bigger than what it really is. Then we sit in it for days, which turns to weeks, which turns to years and heavens forbid it goes on for years. At that point we've told that story so many times it's wrapped so tightly that it's hard to even distinguish if it's the truth or a lie. And finally, once it's fully cooked, we'll serve that lie to others; who walks away thinking we must be crazy and depressed and in need of some help.
Self-pity is a personal hole we use to hid ourselves in. How do we do that? Through:
1. Denial
2. Rejection
3. Grief
4. Heaviness
5. A Broken Heart
6. You even may find it hard to laugh at life and at yourself
7. You may tend to crave for drama
8. You may tend to crave for sympathy
9. You may tend to be left alone
10. You may tend to live in the past
Does this sound like you? If so, you do not have to stay there. I've been there before. Trust me, it wasn't easy facing the facts about myself. But with my hunger to be free, I faced the truth about the stories I was telling about my life. Through that truth I uncovered that I was only telling parts of the story that justified my opinion of myself. There were several things I did that helped me get out of the pit I was in and I believe they will help you get out of the pit you may be in.
1. Recognize that you have a choice. You can blame others or take responsibility for what you did to cause you to be in that state of mind.
2. Allow yourself to feel the pain. Acknowledge it's there and that you're ready to heal.
3. Take control of your life. Do not let someone else control your feelings.
4. Commit to not bragging about the bad things in your life. Not even to yourself. Speak life into your situations.
5. Do something productive in your day, everyday.
6. Notice the good things in your life. Start a gratitude journal.
7. Ask God for help. It's going to be hard to let go of the story you've been telling by heart. Now you have to get a new story. The true story.
8. Give yourself gospel straight talk. Check yourself when you find yourself out of line.
9. Repent to God for the sin of self-pity. Don't forget-He has made you beautiful.
10. In Faith, take the steps you need to move forward in your spiritual healing.
Remember to Find Peace Within
Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa
