The Truth is in the Suffering - When Pain and Soul Meets

How are you? "Fine" - yell, I'm tired, tired but not the kind of tired that comes from not getting enough sleep. I'm tired of trying, I'm tired of being let down, I'm tired of faking happiness, I'm tired of being sad, I give up!"

Have you ever felt that way? Has this conversation ever crossed your lips? Has these types of feelings caused you any type of pain? It certainly has come across my mind, my mouth, in my actions, and has caused me pain.

What is pain? Here's how I define pain:

Pain - a source of discomfort. - that which is caused when something unexpected happens - that thing that breaks your normal way of living. The unexpected that knocks you off your feet.

You see pain doesn't have to be associated with hitting your toe on the end of the coffee table, or the pain you get when you touch the surface of a hot stove. It's not necessarily the pain you get when you get a paper cut or from that hang nail that just want go away. Pain comes in different forms. The pain I'm talking about today is the pain of the SOUL. That pain that still remains in our lives because we failed to observe where the pain was really coming from.

In my Care of the Soul study, I'm learning that we should work with what is rather than with what we wished were there. And why is this? Well, I believe it's more difficult to find our way through the world than to find our way beyond the world. You see to go beyond something means you bypass the stuff in the middle. When we're on our journey through the world/life, its more difficult because we have to observe what's going on in our world... which I've found to be one of the hardest things for most of us to do.

We want to sidestep negative moods and emotions and our bad life choices and unhealthy habits. But we cannot over look any of those things when we're dealing with the pain and the care of the SOUL. We have to observe the SOUL as it is in order to deal with the PAIN it's in. 

Religion can have a way of making us believe that salvation will take away the PAIN, but on the contrary my friend; when PAIN and SOUL meets, there is now an awareness that wasn't there before. When we begin to do our spiritual work, we will find a deeper respect for what is actually going on in our lives. If we try to avoid the realities that life brings, the mistakes and failures, we move beyond the ability to deal with the SOUL. You have to face it head on..you can't run or hide from it.

How do we avoid those things in life that has or is causing us PAIN on our way to caring for our SOUL? Is it okay to give room for the horrible symptoms and hopeless compulsions we have? Many of which causes pain in our lives?

It is our nature to try an alleviate any pain when caring for a love one. You know those "Intervention" shows...the ones that forces people into a rehabilitation facility for their own good. Many go because they feel they have no choice, and some go because they really want to get better. But the most common thing is... many are not ready to deal with the reality of their PAIN. Because dealing with the PAIN will only cause more pain... at least that's what most think.

Sometimes it's good to just submit to the pain and let healing begin. 

When I realized I was dealing with Bulimia, I had to do my SOUL work in order to get better. That work was HARD. It revealed somethings in me that I wasn't too proud of. You see What my PAIN revealed to my SOUL was rejection, abandonment, loneliness, low-self esteem, and a loss of identity. 

This PAIN manifested through Bulimia (eating disorder) and sexual promiscuity (fornication and adultery). I had to deal with many things from my childhood..the thoughts I had about my body, the relationship or the lack of relationship I had with my father and my feelings towards him. It took me from 2001 to 2006 to acknowledge that I had a problem. It wasn't until I began my journey to a smile and began my spiritual work, I was able to walk in my truth and began caring for my SOUL.

It want be easy but it can be done. I didn't think I would ever be able to talk about what I've been through without feeling ashamed. Today, I'm free to talk about it ALL. My life is an open book..I have been set free by the Blood of the Lamb and the words of my testimony. 

"If we can see the story we are in when we fall into our various compulsive behaviors and moods that cause us pain, then we might know how to move through them more freely and with less distress." @Thomas Moore

When PAIN meets SOUL, the healing will reveal truth and freedom. PAIN will allow SOUL to do what it does best... soothe the broken heart and allows truth to whip away all guilt and shame. There's no shame in the PAIN when SOUL speaks for you.

"The life of the SOUL is a continual going over and over of the materials of life".... Keep telling your story, your SOUL is listening.

Remember to 

Find Peace Within,

Be Blessed

Ms. Lisa 

All Bad Isn't Bad - When Dependence and Soul Meets

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints—I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.." Elizabeth Barrett Brownings

This is how much we should love our SOUL. depth, breadth, height, everyday, quiet, sun and candlelight. Free, pure, passion,love that is lost, through smiles, tears, and all my life. and if God is willing I will love my SOUL even better after death... because I did the work here on earth so that my soul will be happy when it departs this earth.

We can't care for the soul unless we are familiar with its ways. What do I mean when I say, "familiar with its ways". What I'm saying is, we can't care for something if we don't know how it works, how it should be. We should observe our SOUL and how it responds to certain situations. How much do I love my SOUL? Do I love her enough to give her the attention she needs to be better. When we observe the soul we keep an eye on what ever she is wondering and gazing at. We observe the latest addictions, a striking dream, or a troubling mood she may be in. We notice when she's out of character and or doing something that is out of the ordinary. 

I'll share one of my most resent experiences that made me observe my soul and how she was responding to how I was acting. 

Recently I started working part-time for a small company where I keep their financials. I took this job because it was something new and I like doing spreadsheets and working with numbers. As I was going through my training, I noticed how dependent I had become on the other employee who was training me. I wouldn't do anything with out their help or without her approval. You see, I was new to this type of business and didn't feel I was capable of learning it. She, too, made me feel like I wasn't capable of doing the job because of those who did the job before me. I became so dependent on her that it would cause me to make errors that I normally wouldn't make. I began having anxiety when I saw her number on my phone. WHY, because, I felt she was calling to tell me I made a mistake and or ask me why did I do such and such. 

I had to ask myself the question, why are you responding to her that way. What is it you're afraid of?"  I discovered that I was responding to her that way because I didn't want to fail. AND the fear of disappointing myself petrified me. I wanted to do a good job. You see, I depended on her so much that I made mistakes I would not have made had I had the confidence I needed to do the job. 

This experience let me see that I still had areas in my life where I needed to grow. It wasn't until she wasn't available to help me that I discovered I had it in me all along. I was capable of doing the work and I could do a good job too. 

So, what does that have to do with the SOUL? 

The SOUL needs certain things to grow. Certain things needs to happen in your life that will cause you to observe how you respond to what life is throwing at you. The SOUL will let you know what needs to be dealt with in your life. But it's not until you are awakened by some situations that will make you stop and think.

Being dependent on someone will make you feel powerless and insecure. You'll have the inability to make decisions on your own. Ask yourself this question, "When does dependence show up in your life?" What triggers in your being that makes you become dependent? For me, it's when I don't feel good about myself or when I don't want to be held accountable if something goes wrong. I can easily point the finger at someone else and not be blamed. (this was before I did my work... :). )

Now, that we see that being dependent can open our SOUL to what is really going on in our "being", we can begin to do the work that we need to do to become whole within ourselves and learn to be inter-dependent. 

Here are a few steps to help you begin your journey..

1. Become conscious of the fears underlying your dependence.
    It could be something as small as sleeping with the lights on. Often our patterns began as     a child but we never stopped them once we became an adult. Why do you need to check     on your children everyday, now that they are away from home? Could it be more about         you and less about them? 

2. Don't Fear Lonliness
    It's okay to just BE with your BEING. Don't fill your time up with doing because you're           afraid of the thoughts you have when you're alone. That's the time when you need to             connect with what the SOUL is saying to you. This is when you can make peace with             yourself. Say I'm sorry, and tell yourself how much you mean to you.Take this time to find     out who you are and what it is you like and don't like. Make the adjustments as you begin     to grow into your own person. 

3. Don't Push Away Your Source of Emotional Dependence
   Overcoming emotional dependence is not about finding "Fault" with yourself and changing    it, but its more about using it as a guidance to finding out what truly lies on the other side      of the fear or insecurity that was causing the dependence. Take the bad part and identify      what is good on the other side.

When Bad and Soul Meets, you'll begin to overcome your emotional dependence. Freedom awaits..Your SOUL is depending on it.

Remember to 
Find Peace Within

Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa 

The After Math - When Reality and Soul Meets

Soul Food, Soul Man, Soul Sister, Soul Brother, Soulful Music. These are all familiar terms we've heard at one point in our life. But have we ever really stopped to ask the question...WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?  I haven't given much thought to any of the terms until I began my journey to finding peace within and the true soulfulness of MY SOUL and who I really am within. Some may say I"m a little deep when it comes to finding peace within and doing the work that's needed but I say, "I'm on a mission to wholeness and a permanent place of peace." Now - back to the SOUL..

Soul Food - Food that makes you feel good inside. The food that most healthy people such as myself stay away from. Mac and Cheese, Fried Chicken, Rice and Gravy, Collard Greens, Candid Yams, Homemade Biscuits, Homemade Pound Cake with Ice Cream.... yes... making you hungry... It puts smiles on your face because they are often cooked by big ma'ma in a heart felt kitchen filled with love and authenticity.

Soul Man, Soul Brother - That man who speaks his mind, who is true to his culture and isn't afraid to let the world know. He is often the one walking around reminding us of where we came from and who we are as a people. His words can often be spoken  perceived as harsh and stereotyped but they are spoken with much passion, which only comes from a place of love and pride for his heritage.

Soul Sister - That sista-girl who isn't ashamed of skin color, her nappy hair, her hips, her lips, or her curves. She isn't afraid to go natural with her curly hair and natural look. She too, is true to her roots and isn't afraid to let it be known who she is and where she came from. Some would say, she's a very strong confident woman who knows what she wants and who she wants in her life. She can be perceived as being stuck up or arrogant in her demeanor. But her passion, too, comes from a place of love for her heritage and all it represents.

Soul Music - That music that takes you back to the days of true love and freedom. That place that reminds you of when things were good. That music that speaks to the very depth of what being human really means. Soul Music makes you wanna make love to the one you love and stay in there forever. You know that Erika Bado, Jill Scott, Lenny Kravitz, Maxwell kinda music. (smiling) I'll stop there. The music that speaks to the very core of who we are as a people. This music can sometimes be perceived as love songs or songs that speak of pain and war. But the very passion of the lyrics come from a place of love for the heritage it represents.

What is the common theme here? Passion and Love. This is what the SOUL speaks when we speak. It speaks that thing that you're passionate about that thing that you love. Which is what drives you to make the decisions you make in life. The soul is the image of what someone or something is made of and from. There is genuineness and depth that comes out of the heart of those who have a clear understanding of their SOUL.

When SOUL is neglected it doesn't just go away it appears symptomatically in obsessions, addictions, violence and loss of meaning. When Reality and Soul Meets the temptation is to isolate the symptoms or try to dismiss them one by one. But this only causes the soul to suffer even more. What reality needs to do is deal with the root problem and deal with the reason wisdom is no longer the guiding force for SOUL.

For years, I dealt self-pity and low-self esteem along with lack of self-worth and self-value. The after-math was the Bulimia, Promiscuity, Adultery, and Pornography,  which are addictions and obsessions that can tear a person down if not dealt with.  I didn't realize these were illnesses and issues related to the spirit of heaviness. It took me dealing with my REALITY and telling the MYSELF THE TRUTH about who I was and what I had become. When my reality met my soul, my soul won because reality spoke the truth about what was really going on in my life. I wanted to be free..whole.. and true...I did my work...

Self-Knowledge and Self-Acceptance is the foundation of the soul.You can't deal with the SOUL without dealing with our relationship with God. We have to understand that we cannot solve our "emotional" problems without the help of God and honoring Him in the process of our spiritual walk.

Getting to the matters of the SOUL is a spiritual matter that requires you to meet REALITY in the middle, tell the truth, be genuine and authentic, and let God handle the end.

Remember, to Smile, Show-Up & Succeed Everyday

Find Peace Within

Be Blessed,
Ms. Lisa