The Love of a Hurting Mother

The summer after 10th grade (1980) I became pregnant. I was 15 that summer.  I went back to school as a pregnant teen. I turned 16 that November 1980. My baby came 4 weeks early March 24 1981. I was now a teenage mother. I graduated high school June 1982. I didn't go to college...I'm there now... :). 

I guess you're trying to figure out where I'm going with this story. Well let me tell you. All things are lessons God would have us learn. Now, at 50, I understand the lesson.

You know in the word of God, Paul reminds us that we must make our calling and election sure. 34 years ago God knew the day would come when I would be ministering to hurting mothers. This is why God had me DO MY WORK. I did my work, now I am ready to work.

This week God allowed me to minister to the hurt of hurting mother's and daughters. One adult child's
desire from the Lord was that her mother would  accepted her as she was and love her instead of criticizing her. The next young lady was (14) she wanted the Lord to help her to stop lying. You know children only lie to their parents when they don't trust their parents with their truth. However the real issue was not with the lies or desire of the child, but the truth was the lies and lack of truthfulness and love from the mother. You see in both situations the children was only looking for the love and acceptance from their mothers.

What has happened here was the mother's were trapped in their own hunger for love and acceptance from their own mothers. We only know how to do what we do with the information we have at the time. It's hard to show love or even give love when we ourselves are looking for the same love and acceptance our little girls or adult daughters are looking for. So as a result, mothers get mad and upset with the child because they cannot give the child what she needs. The Love of a hurting mother is often hurtful, unforgiving, and absent.  We only give what we have to give. The pathology continues when healing and acceptance doesn't take place.

So what does the adult child do who wants her mother to love her and accept her as she is when her mother does not know how to love or even accept herself? The daughter teaches her mother how to love through the eyes of Jesus Christ. She accepts her mother and loves her for who she is and not for who she wants her to be. How does a teenage child stop lying to her mother? She stops when the mother makes her heart a safe place for the child.

How's does a hurting mother learn how to love? First, have the love of Jesus, forgive herself for not loving herself enough to be honest about her own hurt. Tell the daughter she's sorry for not loving her because she too was hurting. Shed tears together, hug each other and grow from where they are.

What I know for sure.. It always helps to be honest with our children even when they become adults. We only can do what we do with the information we have at the time. Our children will love and respect us for our honesty. My son Adrian and I have a very close relationship. He's been through every journey of my life with me. It was his voice that helped me make the decision to LIVE AND NOT DIE!

Mother's trust your heart with your daughters and they will trust you with theirs THAT I KNOW
NOW FOR SURE. :). 

Find peace within,
Ms. Lisa