How do you know he's right for you? When Value and Soul Meets

The Wisdom of Sundays by: Oprah Winfrey, has become apart of my morning meditation reading. If you follow me on social media, you should know that I am a huge fan of "Super Soul Sundays".. yes I read more than the Bible...  This composition of some of Oprah's most powerful spiritual aha moments has really helped me further my spiritual journey. In her GPS chapter she shares a lesson from Author and spiritual leader, Caroline Myss.

I quote - "So how do you know when its right for you? When do you know he's the right one for you? When that's the right job for you? - When you're not put in a position to betray yourself. You don't betray yourself anymore. You're not put in a position where you feel like you have to negotiate your sense of integrity, which is an act of betrayal. (to yourself). You don't feel like you have to compromise who you are. When you have enough respect for yourself to say something. (Value yourself).

You don't feel like you're being drained. This isn't costing me my psyche. This isn't costing me my soul. I don't feel confused on some deep level. I'm not drained. I can be tired after a days work, but I'm not psychically drained where I feel like I'm losing life." Carolina Myss.

I'm not sure how you feel about the words from Carolina Myss, but for me it was a true aha moment!

This is a lesson I believe we all could learn from. You see I was that girl earlier in my journey. I wanted to be with the one who had all the money, who could help me raise my baby, financially that is. He would be the one who would pay all my bills, pay for my son to go to college and all my troubles would be over. Only to find out, I was becoming someone who I didn't like and NOPE he didn't pay for my son to go to college and nor did he pay all MY bills. Only the bills he created.

And now with the job... yell the job would be the answer to all my financial and professional needs and desires. Unbeknownst to me, there would be a system in place that would try to block me from moving up and receiving raises. It would make me question my ability to do the job and have me crying during my lunch breaks because I hated it so much.

What was the straw that broke the camels back in each of the above stories? It was me realizing that I deserved the right to be loved the way God intended and my talents and gifts were not for sale at the price of my sanity. Now, I can truly say that I am in love with someone who loves me in-spite my past. Who loves me when I'm loud and when I'm quiet. Who lets me act a plum fool and gives me the space I need to be me.

I find myself evaluating relationships and circumstances that I come across during this spiritual journey. I evaluate them NOW because I can't have anything in my life that will cause me to become someone I'm not. I will not entertain conversations that will require me to lie about who and what I am. I just don't want something coming in my life that's going to disrupt my peace to the point I don't know who I am or why I'm doing what I'm doing. I want to always be aware and awake spiritually so I can identify what and why something is happening in my life. I want to be able to identify the lesson I'm supposed to learn and how will I be able to help others through my learned lesson.

Just recently I had to tell my best friend that I would rather be her friend than her business partner because I didn't like the way I responded to her when we had to have THOSE CONVERSATIONS. Her friendship meant more to me than any job could ever mean. Me voicing my truth helped her see that we were headed in the wrong direction if we were going to be successful in this venture together something had to change. We talked about what we needed from each other and vowed to honor those wishes respectfully. 

I will not compromise my integrity nor my peace for the sake of anyone else's pain and neither should you.

How do you know when your soul is speaking out for your VALUE?

1. When your voice has become silent. - know that your voice matters and you have the right to be an advocate for your soul.

2. When someone says something to you that goes against everything you believe in - do not compromise your beliefs just because someone disagrees with you and the way you do what you do.

3. When you feel you've out grown a group of people or a situation. - You have to know when you're being called to a higher standard. When the pull to move on has come.... move! Value everything you learned during that season and use it to help someone else.

4. When you feel the weight being lifted and the burdens are no longer holding you down. - You're walking in the right direction my friend when you can stand solid in your decisions.  It's your peace you're after not anyone else's. 

"Remember a Center Soul is a Center Mind"
Find Peace Within

Be blessed,

Ms. Lisa D.

Your "Why" is the only "Why" you need to know - When "Why" and "Soul" Meets

Why did he talk to me that way? Why did she say that to me? Why did he not love me enough? Why would he do that to me after all the sacrifices I've made for him? Why would someone not show me the same kind of love that I've shown them? Why? Why? Why? Was I not enough? Why couldn't he love me the same way I loved him? Why would she tell other people about my private life? Why would she betray me that why?

How many times have we asked our selves those question, I certainly have. I've asked those question over and over, especially when I've given my all to someone, made sacrifices for someone I didn't have to all because I thought I was in love or had a real friendship. I've done things that I didn't want to do for someone ONLY to be kicked like a dog and left out like a cat.

So, we sit around with our Kleenex tissue,  wrapped in our sofa blanket,  having a pity party. Crying and moaning about WHY did this person do what they did to me and all the pain someone else caused in our lives, when in all reality, we should be asking ourselves "WHY" did I allow someone to cause so much pain in my life.

Recently I had a conversation with a young lady who was asking all the "WHY" questions about someone else's actions towards her. My response to her was , what would you do if you never get to know why he did what he did to you. Would you be okay not knowing. Initially she said No, she would not be okay not knowing and she felt like he needed to tell her why. I then told her, "your why is the only why that you need to know." Why did YOU allow this to happen to you... that's the real question.

What is it about the love I have for myself or the lack of love that I have for myself that I would allow someone to treat me any kind of way. She was blown away... and begin to think about how she treats herself which is the mirror we use to show other's how to treat us. We attract people into our lives based on the way we treat ourselves. We attract what we are. If you're a loving person, then you should be attracting loving people into your space. If you are a giving person, you should be attracting giving people into your space. If you are a crazy person, you're more than likely attracting crazy people in your circle. If you are a self-centered person, you are probably attracting self-centered people into your circle.

When "Why" and "Soul" meets.... The Soul will cause you to take inventory of your spirit. The Soul will cause you to hold your spirit accountable for what you bring into its presence. Your Soul will tell you when the spirit is going the wrong way and why something isn't good for you. That includes people. When people come into your life causing chaos and confusion in your spirit, then they need to go. You have to make a decision that you will not allow this person to disrupt the peace of God in your life. Your Soul will be the guide. However it takes work to get to this point in your spiritual walk.

Your spiritual walk is all about YOUR Spirit being connected to the Holy Spirit. When your spirit is awakened by what God wants for your life, you will NEVER sit back and allow someone to disrupt the plan that God has for you. And that plan starts with PEACE. Your Journey to a Smile will push you to say NO to things that you do not want to do and NO to things that will make you compromise the work that you've done on your way to peace.

When "WHY" and "SOUL" meets... Truth will show up in the form of FREEDOM of SPEECH for your life. Use your first amendment rights and speak up for what you will and will not allow. Tell yourself the truth about your "WHY" and make a decision to NEVER wonder WHY someone did what they did to you... The only Why you need to know is YOURS.

Remember, the only Why that's important to you, is your Why...

Here are three questions you should ask yourself when questioning your "WHY"
1.  What is it about me that would attract someone who would treat me in such a way.
2.  What is it about me that I'm not loving enough to allow someone to treat me in such a way.
3.  What is it I need to do to begin to stop the cycle of chaos in my life.

Now do this:

1.  Write it out and speak the truth about it. Journal daily what you've identified
2.  Hold yourself accountable.
3.  Let your Soul be the voice that guides your Spirit into all Truth.. your truth.


Remember, to Find Peace Within
Be Blessed,
Ms. Lisa

I'm Sorry You're Offended - When Accountability and Soul Meets

... Authenticity requires us to be who we be when we're being who we be... I know that's not proper English, however, I'm sure you get what I'm saying. If I walk in the bathroom, I expect to see certain things; like a toilet and a sink,. If it's a full bathroom, I expect to see more than a toilet and a sink. I expect to see either a tub or a shower. There's know confusion about its identity. It's clear, I'm in a bathroom.

This doesn't always happen when we're dealing with humans. Often times, who a person presents to the world is not who the person really is. It's like dating, most people show up on the date as an representation of who they believe the other person would like to see and would like to spend time with.

Let's say, the relationship starts out really good... the two involved are really enjoying spending time together, then one day, the guards are let down and something dark about one of the persons is revealed.

You then have to make a decision... is this someone whom I want to spend time with and invest my emotions into? Many of us don't end the relationship, but continue on with the hopes that part of the person's character will not present him or herself too often. But, that THING continues to show up. You then make the decision NOT to be apart of the relationship anymore.

Is it wrong that you decided to look out for YOURSELF first? Is it wrong that you made a conscious decision about your future and your future emotions with this person? Is it wrong to make the decision to NOT invest anymore time into a relationship that you know will take you down a dark hole? Is it wrong that you made a decision about the type of person you would like to do life with? Absolutely NOT. I say, make the decision now while it's FREE before you have to PAY to get out of it. And the paying doesn't always have to be money. That paying could be time, effort, emotional connection, money, etc. Love and relationships are not limited to marriage.

I hear you saying..."Where are you going with this Lisa?" Here's where I'm going with this...

I have very few friends, even though I am a very friendly person and am pretty nice and pleasant to people I meet. However, when it comes down to people whom I spend time with, I'm very selective.

Recently I had to tell a close friend or someone whom I though was very close, that our friendship was one-sided and I didn't believe there was value in continuing in the friendship. Friendships works both ways...why do I have to be the one doing all the giving in the relationship? After all we suppose to be looking out for each other, RIGHT... When I find out that you've shared some of our most intimate conversations with other's... this puts a breach in our relationship.. I can know longer trust you with my heart, therefore, your type of friendship is not the type of friendship I choose to have.

She was Offended, yes, very Offended. WHY? Because when you call someone on the carpet and hold them accountable for their actions...it's easy to become offended. BUT when you're really sincere in your intentions and in the relationship, you'll be willing to correct your behavior, make amends and move forward. That however didn't happen... So, as I stated before...Is it wrong to end it when it's not working anymore..."ABSOLUTELY NO!"

When do you know it's time to end the relationship?

1. When you are too depended on one another - if your friend has to know your every move..it's time to move one. If he or she gets offended when you spend time with your other friends... This is not a good sign of a healthy relationship. Talk about it, if the talk isn't received the way you intended, then its time to let it go.
2. The friendship is one-sided - as in my case. The friendship was one-sided. I gave - she took. This is not the way friendships are supposed to be. It may take time before you begin to notice this behavior. But, once you begin to notices it, say something..If its received and you two can work it out, then do so, if not, then it's time to move on. sometimes friends  don't even realize what's happening, which too can be a bad thing..as they may have a selfishness about themselves that they can't recognize when you're in pain.  That too isn't good for any relationship.
3. Your friend isn't supportive - this is HUGE for me. I'm an author and a singer.. my friend doesn't have any of my books,(only the sample/proof I gave her and hasn't read that either) and doesn't come to hear me sing, even when it's around the corner. I don't even feel comfortable telling her where we're going to minister or if I'm working on another book... WHY, because she will make it about her, say something sarcastic, and talk about what she did or didn't do. This is not a good friend to have. Once again, talk about it as I did, and make a decision... if you can't be supportive, then you're probably not a good friend.
4. When you're going down different paths - Sometimes you just grow apart. It's good when you can still have your elementary or high school best friend in your latter years. You stayed in touch, did  girl trips, became the god parents of each other's children, stood up for each other at all your weddings. She's there for you when you were hurting and laughing. But what happens when you're just not going in the same direction and you just don't have much in common anymore? You're not doing the same type of stuff anymore... no clubbing, no smoking, no sleeping around, no lying and back biting..If your friendships aren't enhancing you, then you probably need to evaluate the value in the relationship.

When Accountability and Soul Meets - Soul will give you the courage to face a friend when you feel things aren't right. Soul will force you to make a decision about what works best for you. As the Soul's wants to be at peace with all men. at all times and will let you know when you are not at PEACE.

Don't be afraid to let The Soul help you hold other's accountable for the way they treat you..

Remember to Find Peace Within

Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa

The Truth is in the Suffering - When Pain and Soul Meets

How are you? "Fine" - yell, I'm tired, tired but not the kind of tired that comes from not getting enough sleep. I'm tired of trying, I'm tired of being let down, I'm tired of faking happiness, I'm tired of being sad, I give up!"

Have you ever felt that way? Has this conversation ever crossed your lips? Has these types of feelings caused you any type of pain? It certainly has come across my mind, my mouth, in my actions, and has caused me pain.

What is pain? Here's how I define pain:

Pain - a source of discomfort. - that which is caused when something unexpected happens - that thing that breaks your normal way of living. The unexpected that knocks you off your feet.

You see pain doesn't have to be associated with hitting your toe on the end of the coffee table, or the pain you get when you touch the surface of a hot stove. It's not necessarily the pain you get when you get a paper cut or from that hang nail that just want go away. Pain comes in different forms. The pain I'm talking about today is the pain of the SOUL. That pain that still remains in our lives because we failed to observe where the pain was really coming from.

In my Care of the Soul study, I'm learning that we should work with what is rather than with what we wished were there. And why is this? Well, I believe it's more difficult to find our way through the world than to find our way beyond the world. You see to go beyond something means you bypass the stuff in the middle. When we're on our journey through the world/life, its more difficult because we have to observe what's going on in our world... which I've found to be one of the hardest things for most of us to do.

We want to sidestep negative moods and emotions and our bad life choices and unhealthy habits. But we cannot over look any of those things when we're dealing with the pain and the care of the SOUL. We have to observe the SOUL as it is in order to deal with the PAIN it's in. 

Religion can have a way of making us believe that salvation will take away the PAIN, but on the contrary my friend; when PAIN and SOUL meets, there is now an awareness that wasn't there before. When we begin to do our spiritual work, we will find a deeper respect for what is actually going on in our lives. If we try to avoid the realities that life brings, the mistakes and failures, we move beyond the ability to deal with the SOUL. You have to face it head on..you can't run or hide from it.

How do we avoid those things in life that has or is causing us PAIN on our way to caring for our SOUL? Is it okay to give room for the horrible symptoms and hopeless compulsions we have? Many of which causes pain in our lives?

It is our nature to try an alleviate any pain when caring for a love one. You know those "Intervention" shows...the ones that forces people into a rehabilitation facility for their own good. Many go because they feel they have no choice, and some go because they really want to get better. But the most common thing is... many are not ready to deal with the reality of their PAIN. Because dealing with the PAIN will only cause more pain... at least that's what most think.

Sometimes it's good to just submit to the pain and let healing begin. 

When I realized I was dealing with Bulimia, I had to do my SOUL work in order to get better. That work was HARD. It revealed somethings in me that I wasn't too proud of. You see What my PAIN revealed to my SOUL was rejection, abandonment, loneliness, low-self esteem, and a loss of identity. 

This PAIN manifested through Bulimia (eating disorder) and sexual promiscuity (fornication and adultery). I had to deal with many things from my childhood..the thoughts I had about my body, the relationship or the lack of relationship I had with my father and my feelings towards him. It took me from 2001 to 2006 to acknowledge that I had a problem. It wasn't until I began my journey to a smile and began my spiritual work, I was able to walk in my truth and began caring for my SOUL.

It want be easy but it can be done. I didn't think I would ever be able to talk about what I've been through without feeling ashamed. Today, I'm free to talk about it ALL. My life is an open book..I have been set free by the Blood of the Lamb and the words of my testimony. 

"If we can see the story we are in when we fall into our various compulsive behaviors and moods that cause us pain, then we might know how to move through them more freely and with less distress." @Thomas Moore

When PAIN meets SOUL, the healing will reveal truth and freedom. PAIN will allow SOUL to do what it does best... soothe the broken heart and allows truth to whip away all guilt and shame. There's no shame in the PAIN when SOUL speaks for you.

"The life of the SOUL is a continual going over and over of the materials of life".... Keep telling your story, your SOUL is listening.

Remember to 

Find Peace Within,

Be Blessed

Ms. Lisa 

All Bad Isn't Bad - When Dependence and Soul Meets

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints—I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.." Elizabeth Barrett Brownings

This is how much we should love our SOUL. depth, breadth, height, everyday, quiet, sun and candlelight. Free, pure, passion,love that is lost, through smiles, tears, and all my life. and if God is willing I will love my SOUL even better after death... because I did the work here on earth so that my soul will be happy when it departs this earth.

We can't care for the soul unless we are familiar with its ways. What do I mean when I say, "familiar with its ways". What I'm saying is, we can't care for something if we don't know how it works, how it should be. We should observe our SOUL and how it responds to certain situations. How much do I love my SOUL? Do I love her enough to give her the attention she needs to be better. When we observe the soul we keep an eye on what ever she is wondering and gazing at. We observe the latest addictions, a striking dream, or a troubling mood she may be in. We notice when she's out of character and or doing something that is out of the ordinary. 

I'll share one of my most resent experiences that made me observe my soul and how she was responding to how I was acting. 

Recently I started working part-time for a small company where I keep their financials. I took this job because it was something new and I like doing spreadsheets and working with numbers. As I was going through my training, I noticed how dependent I had become on the other employee who was training me. I wouldn't do anything with out their help or without her approval. You see, I was new to this type of business and didn't feel I was capable of learning it. She, too, made me feel like I wasn't capable of doing the job because of those who did the job before me. I became so dependent on her that it would cause me to make errors that I normally wouldn't make. I began having anxiety when I saw her number on my phone. WHY, because, I felt she was calling to tell me I made a mistake and or ask me why did I do such and such. 

I had to ask myself the question, why are you responding to her that way. What is it you're afraid of?"  I discovered that I was responding to her that way because I didn't want to fail. AND the fear of disappointing myself petrified me. I wanted to do a good job. You see, I depended on her so much that I made mistakes I would not have made had I had the confidence I needed to do the job. 

This experience let me see that I still had areas in my life where I needed to grow. It wasn't until she wasn't available to help me that I discovered I had it in me all along. I was capable of doing the work and I could do a good job too. 

So, what does that have to do with the SOUL? 

The SOUL needs certain things to grow. Certain things needs to happen in your life that will cause you to observe how you respond to what life is throwing at you. The SOUL will let you know what needs to be dealt with in your life. But it's not until you are awakened by some situations that will make you stop and think.

Being dependent on someone will make you feel powerless and insecure. You'll have the inability to make decisions on your own. Ask yourself this question, "When does dependence show up in your life?" What triggers in your being that makes you become dependent? For me, it's when I don't feel good about myself or when I don't want to be held accountable if something goes wrong. I can easily point the finger at someone else and not be blamed. (this was before I did my work... :). )

Now, that we see that being dependent can open our SOUL to what is really going on in our "being", we can begin to do the work that we need to do to become whole within ourselves and learn to be inter-dependent. 

Here are a few steps to help you begin your journey..

1. Become conscious of the fears underlying your dependence.
    It could be something as small as sleeping with the lights on. Often our patterns began as     a child but we never stopped them once we became an adult. Why do you need to check     on your children everyday, now that they are away from home? Could it be more about         you and less about them? 

2. Don't Fear Lonliness
    It's okay to just BE with your BEING. Don't fill your time up with doing because you're           afraid of the thoughts you have when you're alone. That's the time when you need to             connect with what the SOUL is saying to you. This is when you can make peace with             yourself. Say I'm sorry, and tell yourself how much you mean to you.Take this time to find     out who you are and what it is you like and don't like. Make the adjustments as you begin     to grow into your own person. 

3. Don't Push Away Your Source of Emotional Dependence
   Overcoming emotional dependence is not about finding "Fault" with yourself and changing    it, but its more about using it as a guidance to finding out what truly lies on the other side      of the fear or insecurity that was causing the dependence. Take the bad part and identify      what is good on the other side.

When Bad and Soul Meets, you'll begin to overcome your emotional dependence. Freedom awaits..Your SOUL is depending on it.

Remember to 
Find Peace Within

Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa 

The After Math - When Reality and Soul Meets

Soul Food, Soul Man, Soul Sister, Soul Brother, Soulful Music. These are all familiar terms we've heard at one point in our life. But have we ever really stopped to ask the question...WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?  I haven't given much thought to any of the terms until I began my journey to finding peace within and the true soulfulness of MY SOUL and who I really am within. Some may say I"m a little deep when it comes to finding peace within and doing the work that's needed but I say, "I'm on a mission to wholeness and a permanent place of peace." Now - back to the SOUL..

Soul Food - Food that makes you feel good inside. The food that most healthy people such as myself stay away from. Mac and Cheese, Fried Chicken, Rice and Gravy, Collard Greens, Candid Yams, Homemade Biscuits, Homemade Pound Cake with Ice Cream.... yes... making you hungry... It puts smiles on your face because they are often cooked by big ma'ma in a heart felt kitchen filled with love and authenticity.

Soul Man, Soul Brother - That man who speaks his mind, who is true to his culture and isn't afraid to let the world know. He is often the one walking around reminding us of where we came from and who we are as a people. His words can often be spoken  perceived as harsh and stereotyped but they are spoken with much passion, which only comes from a place of love and pride for his heritage.

Soul Sister - That sista-girl who isn't ashamed of skin color, her nappy hair, her hips, her lips, or her curves. She isn't afraid to go natural with her curly hair and natural look. She too, is true to her roots and isn't afraid to let it be known who she is and where she came from. Some would say, she's a very strong confident woman who knows what she wants and who she wants in her life. She can be perceived as being stuck up or arrogant in her demeanor. But her passion, too, comes from a place of love for her heritage and all it represents.

Soul Music - That music that takes you back to the days of true love and freedom. That place that reminds you of when things were good. That music that speaks to the very depth of what being human really means. Soul Music makes you wanna make love to the one you love and stay in there forever. You know that Erika Bado, Jill Scott, Lenny Kravitz, Maxwell kinda music. (smiling) I'll stop there. The music that speaks to the very core of who we are as a people. This music can sometimes be perceived as love songs or songs that speak of pain and war. But the very passion of the lyrics come from a place of love for the heritage it represents.

What is the common theme here? Passion and Love. This is what the SOUL speaks when we speak. It speaks that thing that you're passionate about that thing that you love. Which is what drives you to make the decisions you make in life. The soul is the image of what someone or something is made of and from. There is genuineness and depth that comes out of the heart of those who have a clear understanding of their SOUL.

When SOUL is neglected it doesn't just go away it appears symptomatically in obsessions, addictions, violence and loss of meaning. When Reality and Soul Meets the temptation is to isolate the symptoms or try to dismiss them one by one. But this only causes the soul to suffer even more. What reality needs to do is deal with the root problem and deal with the reason wisdom is no longer the guiding force for SOUL.

For years, I dealt self-pity and low-self esteem along with lack of self-worth and self-value. The after-math was the Bulimia, Promiscuity, Adultery, and Pornography,  which are addictions and obsessions that can tear a person down if not dealt with.  I didn't realize these were illnesses and issues related to the spirit of heaviness. It took me dealing with my REALITY and telling the MYSELF THE TRUTH about who I was and what I had become. When my reality met my soul, my soul won because reality spoke the truth about what was really going on in my life. I wanted to be free..whole.. and true...I did my work...

Self-Knowledge and Self-Acceptance is the foundation of the soul.You can't deal with the SOUL without dealing with our relationship with God. We have to understand that we cannot solve our "emotional" problems without the help of God and honoring Him in the process of our spiritual walk.

Getting to the matters of the SOUL is a spiritual matter that requires you to meet REALITY in the middle, tell the truth, be genuine and authentic, and let God handle the end.

Remember, to Smile, Show-Up & Succeed Everyday

Find Peace Within

Be Blessed,
Ms. Lisa

Am I Still Beautiful Without It?

Long hair, beautiful face, perfect teeth, white as ivory... Big long lean legs, nice round booty that sits up high enough to put a wine glass on. Blue eyes, Hazel eyes, Brown eyes, and perfect ears..perfect nose...not too wide and not too narrow. Thick eye-brows and long pretty eye lashes.. not the fake ones either. Let's even go as far to say, nice breast, maybe a C cup. Not too big and not too small. A walk that will turn heads allll the way around..a smile that can catch the eye of a blind person...and hands as soft as a babies bottom. Many of these attribute to what we would call the perfect woman's body. You know the figure 36-24-36 oh, what a winning hand...she's a brick house..... I'm sure many of you may know the rest of the song...so there's no need for me to complete the lyrics. LOL.

But what if for some unforeseen God forbidden reason, you no longer had those beautiful attributes --- would you still be beautiful without it?

Now, I've always considered myself to be a pretty girl. Back when I was growing up, pretty girls were thought to be light skinned, long hair, nice smile, nice butt, long pretty legs, (no scares), cheer-leader, majorette, type...and she had a beautiful BIG personality. Those were the girls most of the boys looked at. Many were seen on the arm of the most valuable football or basketball player. Jersey and all...If you were anything other than that you weren't considered a pretty girl. Now, today, I totally don't agree with that. God has made us all beautiful and in His likeness and image.

But what happens when what God gave us is no longer apart of us?

Here's my story. Now, this is my BRAND my BEAUTIFUL BIG SMILE... people that know me, knows I smile all the time. I even wrote my first book about smiling. Well, on April 20, 2017 I was eating a salad and a piece of my tooth broke off while chewing. I couldn't believe it... a piece of my tooth broke off and I wasn't even eating anything hard. Lucky for me I had a dental appointment the following week for a teeth cleaning, so I would have them fix it with filling and I'll be okay. Well, that's not what happened. The doctor said they could not save the tooth and would have to do a tooth extraction and give me a partial tooth. I agreed to having the tooth pulled. On May 5th I went to have my tooth pulled. It was a painful process.... it's not like the tooth was loose and all they had to do was shake it a little and it would come out - NO, they had to numb my face, and almost put me to sleep to pull it. Once it was all over and I went home and looked in the mirror, the reality hit me..I NO LONGER HAD MY BEAUTIFUL SMILE BECAUSE I HAD THIS HUGE GAP IN MY MOUTH!!! :(

The problem was, the tooth wasn't in the back, it was right on the side where the gap could be seen. I began to think to myself... how in the world am I going to ever smile again...what am I going to do now... and I love to smile...Everyone is going to be looking at me and talking about my gap. My husband will not want to kiss me anymore, which will make intimacy challenging.... we've never had that problem before and Lord, I don't want to start now.  After a few days the feeling began to come back... again...I questioned how was I going to ever smile again with this huge gap in my mouth. And to make matters worse, the tooth was pulled out on the side where my dimple used to be... it was gone due to the anesthesia. I was devastated.. I begin to cover my mouth when I smiled because I was embarrassed first and I thought I wasn't beautiful anymore since I didn't have all my teeth.

As I began to have myself a little pity party I began thinking about the many men and women who have lost their hair due to cancer, or who may have lost a limb in combat. And even for the worker who may have lost a limb while working on a machine, or the person who was burned on the face due to a house fire. How dare I sit here and complain about not being able to smile because I didn't have all my teeth. And what about the young lady whose boy-friend throw gasoline on her face because she no longer wanted to be with him. Not only that, I could think of something even closer to home.. my oldest sister Hope, who lost all her hair while under-going chemotherapy for Breast Cancer....

I began to repent for my selfish thoughts and began thanking God for allowing me to have the activities of all my limbs and the fact that I still had my smile even with a missing tooth - that would be replaced in a few months.

This experience got me to thinking... how many of us question if we're still beautiful when tragic things happens to our best body attributes? When that beautiful beauty mark is no longer beautiful in our eyes. What happens when that long hair is lost to cancer treatments or to any other disease or medications? What happens when those pretty long legs have to be amputated due to diabetes? What happens when the car accidents takes place and your face is shattered by the glass from the windshield? Will you still be beautiful without it? Absolutely! Beauty is not surfaced. Beauty is the person you've become, the person God made you to be. The character you've developed during the hard times. How are beautiful things made? In the press... Don't be so caught up in the act of looking beautiful... as it is only temporal... Real beauty is in BEING your authentic self, being who and what you say you are, even with a gap.

Don't concern yourself with looking beautiful - practice on being beautiful... :).


Remember to Smile, Show Up Succeed Everyday
Find Find Peace Within,

Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa