Switch the Focus from Blaming Others to Understanding Yourself. Step #4 to Forgiving Someone who hurt you

I believe this is probably the most difficult thing in life to do. Look at the man in the mirror and tell him or her the truth. I also believe the truth is one of the hardest things to handle. Who wants to be told the ugly truth about themselves, even when it will help make you a better person. Only someone who has a clear understanding of who they are and where they are going, and what is needed to get there, can handle the UGLY truth about themselves. Here is what Wayne Dyer says about step #4.

Whenever you're upset over the conduct of others, take the focus off those you're holding responsible for your inner distress. Shift your mental energy to allowing yourself to be with whatever you're feeling - let the experience be as it may, without blaming others for your feelings. Don't blame yourself either! Just allow the experience to unfold and tell yourself that no one has the power to make you uneasy without your consent. and that you're unwilling to grant that authority to this person right now.

Tell yourself that you are willing to freely experience your emotions without calling them "wrong" or needing to chase them away. In this way, you've made a shift to self-mastery. It's important to bypass blame, and even to bypass your desire to understand the other person; instead, focus on understanding yourself. By taking responsibility for how you choose to respond to anything or anyone, you're aligning yourself with the beautiful dance of life. By changing the way you choose to perceive the power that others have over you and you will see a bright new world of unlimited potential for yourself and you will know instantly how to forgive and let go of anything.

I hold this to be true. My husband told me something a long time ago, "the outcome of a conversation depends on the response." In other words; you can say something to me good or bad, how the conversation goes is clearly based on how I respond. Here is what I do before I bring up anything controversial in a conversation and or respond in a conversation... I ask myself this question, "How do I want this to end?" If for some reason I don't see it ending well, I will not have the conversation at that time or respond in a way that will cause it to go left real quick. I will then focus on myself and ask myself this question, "What is making me respond and or react this way?" Once I've identified where I am or was at that moment, I then do something about ME and the way I'm feeling.

Just recently I was feeling some type of way with my Love, and I began to cry, I asked myself what was wrong with me and why was I crying... well come to find out, I was having one of those menopausal moments that had nothing to do with my Love. I got myself together and it was a good night.

Take time to get to know you and what triggers your emotions.. ask yourself the question."What's wrong with you (say your name _____)  today?" Tell yourself the truth when you answer.....

Remember to Smile Everyday, Show Up Everyday, and Succeed Everyday
Find Peace Within
Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa

Do You Know Why You're Overweight?

Here are a few reasons why you may be over weight... I call these the Did You Know's?

1. Stress is one of the leading causes for over eating?

2. You should eat 1% of your body weight in protein?

3. Sodium holds water in the body?

4.  The healthiest foods are located on the walls of the grocery stores?

5. Having healthy snacks are as important as breakfast and dinner?

6. There are two types of carbohydrates? Simple (enriched flour products) and complex (whole grain products).

7. Corn is NOT a vegetable? I don't care why grandma says.

8. Dieting is when essential foods are eliminated from your daily food intake? And "Diet" is the foods that make up your daily food intake, not restricting any types of foods.

If you are familiar with any of my Did You Know Questions of Facts, then your lack of knowledge could be the reason why you're over weight.

Wisdom is the principal thing: therefore get wisdom; and with all thy getting get understanding. Prov 4:7 Wisdom is knowing when to apply knowledge. Now that you have the knowledge, apply wisdom.

Remember to Smile Everyday, Show Up Everyday, and Succeed Everyday
Find Peace Within
Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa

Step #3 to Forgiving someone who hurt you - Don't Go to Sleep Angry

This is, I believe one of the hardest things for us to do. Going to bed angry. Husbands and wives do it, best friends do it, siblings do it, co-workers do it, but the bible clearly tells us to not go to bed angry. Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Ephesians 4:26. The Lord knew we would have problems with forgiveness, and going to bed MAD.

Here is what Wayne Dyer says: Each night as I drift off to sleep, I adamantly refuse to use this precious time to review anything that I do not want to be reinforced in the hours of being immersed in my subconscious mind. I choose to impress upon my subconscious mind my conception of myself as a Divine creator in alignment with the one mind. I reiterate my I ams, which I have placed in my imagination, and I remember that my slumber will be dominated by my last walking concept of myself. I am peaceful, I am content, I am love, and I attract only to myself those who are in alignment with my highest ideals of myself.

I can't tell you how many times I've gone to bed mad, it didn't matter who it was with, and you can rest assure I did not get good sleep well and got no rest. I woke up tired and still mad. I can remember one time my husband and I had a BIG fight about the yard, yes about the yard. If you know me, my yard is EXTREMELY important to me. This was early in our marriage (like month 2). Man, we went to bed mad because he didn't cut the grass the way I liked it nor the way I wanted it. Little to some but big to me. Immature in our marriage, we went to bed without saying good night, got up the next day without saying good morning. I believe this went on for 2 days.... LAWD what the heck. LOL. I finally came to myself, asked for forgiveness and apologized for my behavior. He laid down the law about how to deal with him going forward... as a wise woman, I hired a yard man, now today the lawn is no longer a reason for us to have heated fellowship. It's worth the $35 a month.

It's easy to say things like, they'll get over it, or it will be alright. But you nor the other person gets over it, and it NEVER goes away until you address it.  And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." Mark 11:25. Make it right before you say good night.

Remember to Smile Everyday, Show Up Everyday, Succeed Everyday
Find Peace Within
Be blessed
Ms. Lisa

Step # 2 to Forgiving someone who hurt you. - Reconnect to the Holy Spirit

Yesterday I shared with you step 1 to forgiving someone who hurt you and that was to Move on to the Next Act. This is so important to do as it could hinder you from taking the next step, which is Reconnecting with the Holy Spirit. Now, that is to say you already have or had a relationship with the Holy Spirit.

Wayne Dyer says,-"Make a new agreement with yourself to always stay connect to the Holy Spirit, even when it seems to be the most difficult thing to do. If you do this, you will allow whatever degree of perfect harmony that your body was designed for to proliferate. Turn your hurts over to God and allow the Holy Spirit to flow through you.

Your new agreement with reality in which you've blended your physical self and your personality with God will begin to radiate a higher cause of love and light. Wherever you go, others will experience the glow God consciousness, and disharmony and disorder and all manner of problems simply WILL NOT FLOURISH IN YOUR PRESENCE.

I stand true to this and have found it to be true. Staying connected to the Holy Spirit requires you making time for Him. He cannot be an after thought, He cannot be the last thing on your mind. He has to be first in your life, first in your day. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God... that includes the Holy Spirit. This is why I carry my smile with me everyday, everywhere I go.... I let my light shine...

I start every morning with prayer and meditation, this is something I've shared with you all in my previous blogs. This morning the Holy Spirit woke me up earlier than 4:30... I got up, laid before the Lord, prayed in my heavily language, and allowed the Holy Spirit to make intercession for me, as I didn't know why God woke me up before my usual time, but I submitted to the awakening and little did I know, I would be faced with an adversary that would try to cause me to come out of my peaceful place. I reverted back to my time with the Holy Spirit and remembered the words He spoke to me this morning, "Peace be with you today."

Find your way back to the Holy Spirit and if you don't know Him, get to know Him... He's here to Help keep you, both mind, body and soul.

Remember to Smile, Everyday, Show Up Everyday, and Succeed Everyday
Find Peace Within
Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa

How to Forgive someone who has hurt you - 15 Steps to Peace

As we prepare to say good bye to 2015 we should do everything in our power to leave everything that has hurt us in 2015. You can't put new wine in old wine skin. Don't you want to be free to receive all God has for in in 2016? Did you know un-forgiveness can and will cause your blessings to be held up? Yes it sure can. Not only that un-forgiveness causes problems in your body, mind and soul. It shows on your face and the way you treat others as well as yourself.

Forgiving others is something I've learned to do. WHY? Because I like resting, I enjoying being at peace with myself and other men. The key to forgiveness is know that it's for ME and not for the OTHER PERSON. One thing that has also helped me to forgive is to not put un-realistic expectations on people. By doing this, I do not put myself in the position to be hurt or let down.

I was reading Wayne Dyer's blog last week and he shared 15 steps to forgiving someone who hurt you. I know some people may never read Wayne Dyer's blogs or even go to his website, so I thought I would share with you what he said, and put my thoughts to it.


Step 1: Move on to the Next Act
Your past history and all of your hurts are no longer here in your physical reality. Don't allow them to be here in your mind, muddying your present moments. Some of the characters who enter your story have short roles to play, others are there much longer. Some people are mean and evil and some are good and loving. But all of them are necessary to build your character in the play. Don't allow history to continue to be apart of your present nor your future.

I remember as a young girl, I was always getting hooked up with the wrong guy. I remember telling my dad about this one guy and how much I loved him... yes I'm sure I thought I did at the time... but 2 1/2 years later, he crushed my heart like a plane falling from the sky. I got over it but that thing plagued me some years until I finally came to grips to what I was doing wrong... I kept looking at every guy as if he was the one who hurt me. I had to tell myself, "he's not him"! He's long gone now and  I am no longer dealing from that hurt. I've opened my hurt to love and am truly in a good place and now understand the reason for him playing a part in my play. But I truly went on to the next act.

Don't continue to rehash your past/history. Know that everyone that was in your life at that time had a part to play, even if it was the villain. Everyone needs a villain in their life... gotta give the devil a run for his money and give the Lord a chance to leap over some walls...

Move on to the Next Act, It's promised to have a Happy Ending. :)

Remember to Smile, Everyday, Show Up Everyday, and Succeed Everyday
Find Peace Within
Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa

Scissor your way to a nice Rectus Abdominis

There are so many abdominal exercises you can do to help you get a nice mid-section but this is one of my favorites. The Rectus Abdominis Scissor. This abdominal muscle controls the tilt of the pelvis and curvature of the lower spine. It also tilts the pelvis forward improving the mechanical positioning of the erector spine (lower back ).

It will take some coordination to do this exercise but you can do it. I have faith in you. Here we go:

The movement: Lie on your back with both arms by your sides. Raise your right leg and your left arm up at the same time, as you lower your right leg you will lower your left arm and then lift your left leg while lifting your right arm. You will work your arms and legs as if they were a pair of scissors. Do three sets of 10 that's - 3 x 10. You should feel your lower abdominals tightening. That means you're working hard!

You must also include three healthy meals and two healthy snacks to obtain a nice Rectus Abdominis. Most people think that doing lots of crunches alone will give them a nice mid-section. WRONG! That will not happen! A really nice mid-section comes from eating healthy meals accompanied with cardiovascular exercises and strength training at least 3 days a week. So, get cutting and eat right. You'll be glad you did!

Exercising regularly will help you toward your quest of finding peace within.

Remember to Smile Everyday, Show Up Everyday, and Succeed Everyday
Find Peace Within
Be blessed,
Ms. Lisa

10 ways to transform your life - Dr. Wayne Dyer

Dr. Wayne Dyers was and still is one of the worlds most loved and talked about transformational teacher's. A man filled with wisdom and words that would make you think about your life in ways you've never thought about before. He believed in living life to the fullest and making the best of your life and seeing the best in other's. He's left behind a legacy of words that can transform -(go beyond your form) - your life as you know it today.

As I prepared to release my book, "Smile, Show Up, Succeed, EVERYDAY- I thought about Dr. Wayne and everything he shared with the world. As I began reading some of his inspirational writing, I was inspired by his audio - 101 ways to transform your life and I thought I would share 10 of the 101 with you.

1.  Know in your heart there is an invisible intelligence in everything and you have the power to connect with God to help you make it come to past.
2.  This is your sacred quest - look inward not outward. All you have is inside of you.
3.  There are no accidents in life - appreciate everything.
4.  Draw energy from those things around you. See the fullness of God.
5.  Be peaceful - Experience silence and here from God. God's voice is silent - Go within
6.  Forgive yourself for your transgressions - apply self forgiveness.
7.  When you seek happiness for yourself it will always allude you, when you seek happiness to other, you'll find your happiness. Happiness comes by serving.
8.  Attempt to release all enemies from your thoughts and try loving them.
9.  Release others who said it wasn't possible for you. Be open and release hate.
10. Grievance brings tumor, agreeing brings peace

I believe these 10 ways to transform our lives Dr. Dyer shared with us is so true. I personally believe it is important to know that God has given us everything we need to get what we need and want. I believe it is important to look inside ourselves to find the strength we need to move forward. No, there are no accidents. All things are lessons God would have us learn. If it's negative, there must be a positive to make it effective. If there is no positive in the negative, let the negative go. Silence is the first thing I do in the mornings. Spend time with The Lord every morning, your day is promised to be wonderful. Giving to others always makes you feel better. At the end of the day we are all servant leaders. Holding on to past hurts and those who have hurt us really only ends up hurting us. So release those people who you are holding on to and causing you to become someone you don't like. Find peace with all men... own no man nothing but Love.

Dr. Wayne was all about peace, love, and happiness. What's your message in life?

Remember to Smile Everyday, Show Up Everyday, and Succeed Everyday
Find Peace Within
Be blessed,
Lisa Dalton